Life on the Preservation

I had this great video. Anna Rose had just finished performing at "Cheer Dance Camp" and was watching two gals perform their own choreography to the pop song "What Makes You Beautiful" when my camera drifted down from the dancing girls to my daughter, bopping to the beat, completely unaware, while One Direction auto-tuned their way to the chorus...

Baby you light up my world like nobody else 
The way you to flip your hair gets me overwhelmed 
But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell 
You don't know (oh oh) 
You don't know you're beautiful! 
If only you saw what I can see 
You'll understand why I want you so desperately 
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe 
You don't know (oh oh) 
You don't know you're beautiful! (Oh oh) 
That's what makes you beautiful! 

...it was perfect.

I couldn't wait to iMovie that bad boy onto the blog...in other words to cement the moment, preserve it for when she's gone off to college and I'm crying at time gone by and I need something to remember so I trace back through the archives and key up the "what makes you beautiful" moment...

The thing is I did wait to iMovie the bad boy. We watched it a few times on the television first. We waited for Mommy to get home from being out of town so she could see it. Which wouldn't have been so bad, except Anna Rose in her enthusiasm to see what else was on the camera, punched a few buttons and forever erased the video!

Then, the washer destroyed her incredibly cool shirt (see photos above because that's all you'll ever see of her incredibly cool shirt), and just like that it was like Cheer Dance Camp never happened!

I cried. I seriously teared up. Because now what am I supposed to look at when Anna Rose is gone off to college?

Which is totally the reason I take so many pictures in the first place. Which is also totally (maybe not totally, but it's way up there) the reason why I blog.

Time is flying by, and I need to preserve it.



Why? I mean, why do I need to preserve it?

That's what I asked myself this morning. Because, and I apologize for the morbidity of the thought, time is going to run out. My time is going to run out. And even if the history that I keep for my family survives me, it will befall the same fate. No matter how well I preserve the past in pictures, those pictures will fade. Even those tubes and wires and mainframes that hold all my jpegs are not going to last. Anna Rose was going to outgrow that shirt anyway...

So what is the point? And maybe there isn't one.

This is all I have this morning...gratitude. I'm thankful it happened at all. I'm thankful I was there. I saw it live. I'm thankful Lia got to see it.

So Ned, be grateful for what you have when you have it because you won't have it forever. The important stuff can't be bottled. Wrong buttons will be pushed. Life goes on...and yet nothing is entirely lost when you become thankful for it.