Thursday, May 22, 2008

Money Laundry

So here is the moral dilemma. Over lunch, a friend gave me 30 bucks so I could pay the babysitter he forgot to pay yesterday. I said sure, and cinched the money in my shorts because I didn't have any pockets. Drove home. Had to crap. So I sit on the can and do my business, and as I get up to flush and leave, I see my buddy's 30 bucks circling the bowl. So I reach in and grab it (of course), but now what do I do? I mean, I soaped and rinsed it, but do I still give it to the babysitter? Does she need to know? And if I don't give it to her, do I use it for something else. At some point, someone's going to have to touch it. Is it better or worse if it is a stranger?

I guess the best thing to do is to burn the money. But it's 30 bucks! That's a lot of cash. So what would you do? How would you solve this problem? Needless to say, my first experience with money laundering has been a filthy one.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Judge a Judge by His Daughter

You are not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I'm telling you, you can definitely judge a judge by his daughter. Judge John M. Tyson is the incumbent NC Court of Appeals judge and is running in tomorrow's election. He is a great guy in his own right. Here are just a few of his stats: While policy allows 90 days for opinions to be filed, John averages 39 days, using taxpayer’s time and resources judiciously. Tyson majority opinions affirmed or left undisturbed by the Supreme Court: 98.5%. Total Supreme Court adoptions of Tyson dissenting opinions: 39. But I'm telling you, vote for John Tyson because he raised one of the coolest, most solid kids ever. Caroline Tyson Cox is the bomb.

Which brings to mind: how do I choose who to vote for anyway? I mean, what do you do when you are not like my friend Bill Davis who happens to know every candidate on a personal level? I mean, what do you do instead of asking him (which is what I do)?

I had an interesting breakfast a couple weeks ago up at Windy Gap (a camp in western Carolina). I asked the guy what he did. He said, "Nothing right now." I said, "Cool, are you a starving artist like?" He said, "No, I work security detail for high profile people when they go over to Iraq and Afghanistan." "Oh," I said. "I'm taking some time off." So of course I asked who he has hung out with. He said, "I can't tell you," then proceeded in basically telling me everything. Ha! Let me say, it was very enlightening. I don't feel comfortable releasing this information on the internet, and I can't tell you his name, but if you want the inside scoop, give me a call, we'll have a beer.

The only person I really know about is John Tyson. Vote for him tomorrow. Vote because of Caroline. She is the pudding where the proof is.