Love and Hate

Lia loves Spring. She has opened the windows and filled our house with flowers. She spends her free time with her garden. She spends her free time at night, reading about gardening. She spends her morning thinking about what she can do in her garden later that day. You get the picture. The woman loves growing things.

I wouldn't say I hate Spring necessarily, but I have a hard time loving it. I've discovered I have a hard time loving something I'm allergic to. Like cats. I don't like them so it's a good thing I'm allergic to them (if I wasn't, we'd own one, I'm sure). So allergies are not all bad. I'm getting off track.

I'll stay off track. Here are a few photos from the Lillie's Friends race last week:

That's me, celebrating my third place finish! Brian Amrich is in the background eating a well-deserved donut. He finished first in the unofficial yet prestigious stroller division. Below is a better picture of him, Erin and Emerson (the winning rider).

The thing is Spring is beautiful and it makes my eyes water, not to mention that it also makes me sneeze and itch all over and feel sick and want to die. Besides that, Spring is great.

(my kidsz have turned into thugz)

Lia asked me two days ago when I was going to finish landscaping around our play set. I almost cried. But I set right to work. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Oh," I said, "I couldn't think of a reason to put it off."

We went to a Delane and Elyse Clark's farm to feed goats. Dave Dave liked the horses better than the goats.

I've been thinking about love, lately. It's Spring after all. I sort of have this idea that you show someone how much you love them by doing things that you hate to do. So I've been doing a lot of yard work lately.

This morning I had a little epiphany. I realized that love doesn't always have to be like that. When Anna Rose wants to show me love she picks a flower from out in the yard and says, "Here, dad, you can have it." "Thanks," I say. Inside I'm saying, "If she makes me smell this thing, I'm going to sneeze." But also inside I'm saying, "I'm glad my little girl loves me." So anyway, back to the epiphany. Here it is: I realized that sometimes I should allow myself to love Lia the way I want to love her.

Easter at the Ericksons. Anna Rose got a Zsu Zsu pet in her Easter basket because she loves them.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's important to figure out (try to figure out) what it is that Lia really wants. I think that's great. And I also think it is important to show her that I love her by slaving away in the yard. But I think, in addition to these, I should give myself permission to buy her this dress that I know she will look drop dead gorgeous in, even though she told me she didn't really think it was her style.

Because love needs to just come out of you sometimes. I need to stop worrying about how it's received. Sometimes you just have to do it because you feel it.

Cheesiest picture of all time? Yay or Nay?

Same goes for Spring. I am going to love it because Lia loves it. And I'm going to work in the yard because I know Lia will appreciate it. But I'm also going to take my Claritin and secretly hope for summer to come and not feel bad about it.