Wednesday, August 20, 2014
At some point I realized the truth about failure.
Failure is not failing to reach your goal. Failure is failing to reach for your goal.
Fear of failure can paralyze you. In my story, in my past, it caused me to settle for lesser things. It convinced me to stuff my passions, keep my dreams undercover.
I listened to Star Wars wisdom - the "Do or do not. There is no try" of Yoda.
Until finally I was thirty and I was succeeding at everything but my dreams.
If writing has taught me anything it has taught me to redefine failure. If failure is rejection - I've failed a hundred times. If success is writing a best seller - I've succeeded not at all. But if failure is not trying, if success is seeing things to their completion regardless of the result - then I haven't failed at all. I've achieved every goal.
And when you succeed like that you experience a kind of freedom that only the dreamers dare to experience.
You become fearless. You step into the ring with confidence and boldness. Because how can you lose when you've already won?
That was my mentality going into this run. Did I have what it took? Physically, I didn't know. Mentally, wasn't sure. Spiritually, not quite positive. But was I willing? You bet I was. I wasn't quitting until they ripped my carcass from the pavement.
So did I succeed? Does it matter to me that there are miles still to be run? Yes and yes. I succeeded in Cherokee when I said a prayer, kissed my wife, and started up the hill. So do I need to finish? Yes, I do. Because success is also seeing things to their completion regardless of the result.
In the next few weeks, I'm going to attempt to wrap my head around the experiences of the last few weeks. I am going to tell the story. To stick to the truth and go behind the scenes. I will try. I will begin the process of processing what has happened.
I'd love for you to journey with me. To read along and share your thoughts.
I will write when I can. There are jobs to do and school starting and training that needs to be done. But this is important, too. It's my story. And I found myself suddenly in a larger one. And it's going to take some time to unravel it all.