Monday, December 06, 2010

Depending on Definition

If you ask me, we had a GREAT weekend. If you ask my wife, well, let's just say you'd get a different answer.

It started off with a bang. Literally, Lia was in a car accident. She was ok. (Of course, the bad husband that I am, my first question was "Was it your fault?"...boy do I have a lot to learn) It led to a stressful few hours, but it also led to some of the best connections Lia has ever had with some of the folks from our church. See, the moment we got home, we had to jump in the unblemished Jeep to go to a church Christmas Party.

They party was a lot of fun, and the vulnerability that comes with being made vulnerable led to really meaningful conversation. Afterwards, we came home. Slept. I woke up at 5:55 to get ready for the Mistletoe half-marathon. Lia woke up a bit later. We got ready, stretched, got the kids up, the sitter came, we ran. We both did great. Lia broke 2 hours! I ran a 1:23! Don't think I'll do that ever again. After I finished, I ran to the car, relieved the babysitter, put the kids in the car, and drove back to the finish line. Found Lia. We hung out at the after party. Anna Rose cried at a near encounter with Bolt, the mascot for the Winston-Salem Dash. We had to leave before the awards were dished out.

We fed the kids. It snowed! Anna Rose and I ran outside to catch snowflakes on our tongues. The sitter came back. Lia and I went to the Wake Forest basketball game. We won! We came home. Anna Rose and I ran a few errands. Then, we all put on every bit of clothing we possess and went to the Christmas Parade down 4th Street. It was sleeting, but it stopped just as we parked. We watched the parade with friends then went to IHOP for breakfast for dinner. The kids stayed up way past their bedtime. We finally got them asleep. We followed shortly thereafter.

We got up. Went to church. I had to go early for worship practice. Then to Starbucks to interview a couple who were joining the church. Lia cooked food for a party later that afternoon. Then to the service. Then afterward, straight to the Young Life Christmas Party. I ate a healthy portion of Lia's awesome Mexican lasagna. The kids entertained everyone. We got back in the car. Went home. I folded laundry. Went for a run. The kids went for a nap. We tidied. The kids got up. We went to church for a congregational chili cookoff/meeting. It went well. We came home. Got the kids to bed.

Lia and I sat on the couch. I said, "Wasn't that weekend amazing!"

Lia said, "I can handle a weekend like this, maybe once a year."

I said, "What? I could do this weekend every day!"

God help Lia.

This has been a big discovery for me over the last year: my definition of good is WAY different than Lia's. A good day for me is activity, lots of it, the more significant, meaningful things, even if they are hard, even really hard, that you can pack in the better. Lia's definition on the other hand is peace. A good day is a stress free day, one when what you expect to get done gets done and nothing unexpected happens. To me that sounds like a boring day. To Lia, my good day feels like torture.

The discovery's made me rethink some things. Like, when I ask someone how they are doing: they might say fine. But that depends on what their definition of fine is. That's the real question I need to get answered. I'm learning that there are words and there are meanings. I believe we are called to understand - that means knowing not what is said but what is meant. It's a challenge. I mean, it's really hard sometimes...isn't that great!

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